In
case anyone is wondering, I am going through these in a kind of
order. As a tender, young 11-year-old fantasy fan, I obtained the
six books in the Bantam Conan pastiches all at once and commenced to
try and read through them. I was well-acquainted with numbered
fantasy series, but I had no concept of the history behind Conan or
that these were simply numbered books in a publishing run – not in
any chronological order. Imagine my confusion. Nevertheless, this
served as my introduction to the character, and it would be many
years before I obtained original Howard stories and learned what the
fuss was about.
The
Sword of Skelos was printed after Conan the Liberator, and
has a big number three printed on the spine, but it is actually a
continuation of the story Andy Offutt began in Conan and
the Sorcerer. This is actually the third book a story arc that
was continued in Conan the Mercenary, never mind that this
book was published before that one. Once again we are involved with
an escapade from early in Conan’s life, taking place when he is
about twenty, roaming around the eastern lands as a thief and robber.
This
story opens with a prologue that sets up the titular sword and the
wizard who creates it. Zafra is an unusual sorcerer for a Conan tale
in that he is not old, but a young man flush with the power his magic
gives him. He enchants a pair of swords for the Khan of Zamboula
that when commanded will come alive and kill by themselves – a
fairly pulpy idea, and one that fits in all right.
Then
we get to Conan, and his encounter with a man named Kassek who is
seeking the Eye of Erlik – the amulet Conan stole from Isparana in
Conan and the Sorcerer. Offutt thinks the plot of that story
was really important, since Kassek essentially only exists so Conan
can spend an entire chapter summarizing that book for him, and he is
killed as soon as that’s done with. I can’t imagine what could
have happened in Conan the Mercenary, but it must be so
unimportant as to be not worth mentioning, nor does it have any
effect on the plot.
Once
again all the flaws in Andrew Offutt’s Conan tales are in full
force. The plot is linear and unexciting, Conan is talkative,
sentimental, and hardly gets to kill anybody. Elements and
characters are introduced that go nowhere and do nothing but waste
time. There’s almost nothing resembling the gut-ripping violence
that characterizes the real Conan, and he spends more time bantering
with Isparana and getting feelsies for her. They take the Eye to the
Khan, he turns on them, Conan has to fight the magic sword but
doesn’t actually fight, he just runs away from it. The Khan is
deposed by his rival, and Conan rides off into the sunset. That’s
it.
There’s
almost nothing here worth mentioning, barely even a story, and the
characterization of the Cimmerian hero is completely off. Already,
Conan has largely been reduced to a wussy, family-friendly version of
himself, who seems to have very little to do with the brooding,
aggressive, impulsive hero Howard wrote. There are no good
characters, no good action, and a general feeling of not much
happening, as seems to be the usual in Offutt’s work. This is
almost 30,000 words longer than Conan and the Sorcerer, and
yet it seems like less happens in it.
I
remember that by the time I read this one I was completely bored and
confused by this series. I didn’t understand what was supposed to
be going on, I didn’t know who these characters were or why I
should care, and despite the action I had been led to expect from
stories about a sword-wielding barbarian, there was almost none to be
found. I probably would have quit entirely had it not been for Karl
Edward Wagner, who wrote the next book in the sequence and gets us
back on track with The Road of Kings. Next time, we finally
get some action.
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